A New Beginning

Every January 1 for as long as I can remember, I've resolved to eat healthier and lose weight. I never stuck with that resolution, until last year.

You might recall that I joined Jenny Craig at the end of March. I stuck with it dilligently until mid-August, when I got a new job and my entire lifestyle changed. I used to be a news producer, and the nature of the business is so hectic that bringing pre-packaged meals and snacks to work was a necessity. I barely had time to eat during the day, so I never really thought about food. That made losing the weight with Jenny so simple -- I just brought my lunch and snacks for the day and grabbed them when I had a second. Otherwise, I didn't eat all day, and I pigged out at dinner as a result. Things are different where I work now. I have more downtime to think about what I'm doing, and every office in my building has some kind of candy or snacks laying around. Food is a part of the culture there, and temptation is all over the place. Not to mention that everyone eats at the buffet-style dining hall, which is actually very, very good. (Fortunately, it has a full-scale salad bar, but it also has other goodies, like grilled cheese and plenty of desserts.)

My goal was to lose 50 lbs on Jenny, but I left the program in mid-October before I could reach it. The bottom line is that it was just too expensive for me. However, I have absolutely no regrets about joining. I made an investment in myself, one that I absolutely needed to make, and I would have done it all over again if I had to. The people at Jenny Craig were wonderful and very supportive. I still firmly recommend the program to anyone who is serious about losing weight but hasn't been successful on their own. I just couldn't keep it up on my salary.

So, what's happened since then?

I wish I could pretend that September - December didn't exist. I quit my membership at the local YMCA to use my university's gym for free -- but I only worked out there once. I was also back to my old destructive habits, eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Around Thanksgiving, I started to feel really gross again, like I had nothing but fat all over my body. I realized I needed to get back on the wagon. Jenny Craig had given me the tools to live a healthy lifestyle, but it was up to me to utilize them. So, in mid-December, I joined a new gym closer to my house that was singificantly less expensive. I started going almost every day before leaving for Christmas. Even the manager noticed! However, when I went home for the holidays, I ate everything in sight (again), and the only exercising I did was dancing at my cousin's engagement party.

So now I'm back home, reevaluating my life and my goals. I know I can lose the weight before my sister's wedding this summer. Her fiance gave me some great workout equipment to supplement my gym time, and I'm excited about using it. I just don't want to feel disgusting anymore. I don't care if I look like a model or if my thighs are bigger than the average girl's. I want to be healthy and feel proud when I look in the mirror -- that's all.

I can't change the mistakes I made over the past few months, but I can make sure I don't repeat them. So here I go, off to the gym to give myself another chance at happiness.