I started this blog exactly one year ago to chronicle my battle with weight loss in hopes that 1.) making my story "public" would keep me on the ball and 2.) I might - just might - be able to help someone else who's going through the same thing. I feel like I've done a little bit of both over the last 12 months, which is great. But I still haven't reached my goal.
Last week, I took another step toward improving my health, my life and my self-confidence. I called Jenny Craig again. I'm really not having any success losing weight on my own right now, and I need to nip this problem in the bud. The truth is I've gained about 10 pounds back since September. It could very well be more than that, but I'm too scared to check! I am going to step on the scale when the food arrives to give me a better idea of my new starting point. All I know is that I cannot go back to who I was before, and I must keep my goal within reach.
The main reason I left the program was because of money. It was pretty expensive, but after speaking with my consultant, I'm confident that I won't have issues this time around (at least, that's the idea!).
Here's to Jenny taking me back!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Focus!
The last couple of weeks were pretty rough on me and my running schedule. First, I came down with some kind of weird stomach virus/food poisoning that left me unable to hold down anything but Gatorade for about three days (sorry for the mental image). Once I got better, my little sister came to visit. We had a blast, of course, and I love that she was here, but entertaining leaves little time for exercise. After that, I came down with a cold, and I haven't stopped coughing since.
So that's where I am right now.
Today, I'm re-focusing. I have to. My other sister gets married on July 4, and - if you recall from my earliest blog posts nearly a year ago - this event has been my motivation for losing weight. I think I've gained back about 10 pounds since getting off Jenny Craig in October, and I just haven't been consistent with my diet and exercise since then. Jenny was a fabulous program that I would have loved to continue for a few extra months, but the bottom line is that I couldn't afford it. I've tried substituting Jenny Craig meals for Lean Cuisines, which does work when I do it consistently. Still, something in me is not as committed as I was before. I'm not totally pleased with how I look, and I can feel those extra few pounds, but my habits are not what they used to be. I'm reverting back to my old self, and I hate it. I don't know why or how it's happening, and I really want to get back on track.
I know that if I keep a consistent work-out schedule, I'll not only feel better, but I will drop the weight. I think I'm going to start bringing my exercise clothes to work and going straight to the gym afterward. Maybe that will keep me moving along.
So that's where I am right now.
Today, I'm re-focusing. I have to. My other sister gets married on July 4, and - if you recall from my earliest blog posts nearly a year ago - this event has been my motivation for losing weight. I think I've gained back about 10 pounds since getting off Jenny Craig in October, and I just haven't been consistent with my diet and exercise since then. Jenny was a fabulous program that I would have loved to continue for a few extra months, but the bottom line is that I couldn't afford it. I've tried substituting Jenny Craig meals for Lean Cuisines, which does work when I do it consistently. Still, something in me is not as committed as I was before. I'm not totally pleased with how I look, and I can feel those extra few pounds, but my habits are not what they used to be. I'm reverting back to my old self, and I hate it. I don't know why or how it's happening, and I really want to get back on track.
I know that if I keep a consistent work-out schedule, I'll not only feel better, but I will drop the weight. I think I'm going to start bringing my exercise clothes to work and going straight to the gym afterward. Maybe that will keep me moving along.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Not So Bad, Actually
Last week, I started running.... "for fun." The old me never would have considered it, but the new me figures it's worth a shot.
I was really stoked to get started on Tuesday. My class that evening was cancelled, so I took that as a sign to get going. I spent the entire day psyching myself up. I ate a light dinner around 6:30pm, then headed to the gym at 8. I got on the treadmill, did a 5-minute warm-up, and started jogging in 2-minute increments for 20 minutes (2 minutes jogging, 2 minutes walking - you get the idea). When I was done, I felt physically ill. My stomach was killing me - I thought I was going to throw up. My neck and shoulders were so tense; I couldn't get my muscles to relax. My upper back was tight, too, and no amount of stretching helped. I went home, took a hot shower, and went straight to bed to avoid possibly vomiting.
I woke up the next morning feeling absolutely fine, but the memory of the night before made me wary of trying again. It wasn't until Saturday that I went back to the gym to face the treadmill. This time, things went my way. I started off for 20 minutes on the elliptical to warm up my muscles, then did some weights before running. I stuck with my routine of 2 minutes on, 2 minutes off, and I have to say -- I felt amazing. I was able to do it with relative ease, which is something totally new to me. I truly thought I was starting to conquer this "fear" of running. I went out to dinner with some friends afterward, and one of them told me that running takes a few times before it catches, so that made me even more optomistic.
I'm hoping to be in pretty good shape by the time that 5K comes around in late April, so we'll see how that goes!
I was really stoked to get started on Tuesday. My class that evening was cancelled, so I took that as a sign to get going. I spent the entire day psyching myself up. I ate a light dinner around 6:30pm, then headed to the gym at 8. I got on the treadmill, did a 5-minute warm-up, and started jogging in 2-minute increments for 20 minutes (2 minutes jogging, 2 minutes walking - you get the idea). When I was done, I felt physically ill. My stomach was killing me - I thought I was going to throw up. My neck and shoulders were so tense; I couldn't get my muscles to relax. My upper back was tight, too, and no amount of stretching helped. I went home, took a hot shower, and went straight to bed to avoid possibly vomiting.
I woke up the next morning feeling absolutely fine, but the memory of the night before made me wary of trying again. It wasn't until Saturday that I went back to the gym to face the treadmill. This time, things went my way. I started off for 20 minutes on the elliptical to warm up my muscles, then did some weights before running. I stuck with my routine of 2 minutes on, 2 minutes off, and I have to say -- I felt amazing. I was able to do it with relative ease, which is something totally new to me. I truly thought I was starting to conquer this "fear" of running. I went out to dinner with some friends afterward, and one of them told me that running takes a few times before it catches, so that made me even more optomistic.
I'm hoping to be in pretty good shape by the time that 5K comes around in late April, so we'll see how that goes!
Monday, February 23, 2009
By the Way . . .
I just noticed a la the counter my brother posted at the bottom of this blog that I have passed 1,000 views! Granted, a large chunk of those are probably mine, but wow -- that's pretty good!
A big "thank you" to everyone who has been reading! I know I am not very consistent with updates, but that's because I hate writing when there's nothing to say. I'll try to be better about that, though.
Thanks again!
A big "thank you" to everyone who has been reading! I know I am not very consistent with updates, but that's because I hate writing when there's nothing to say. I'll try to be better about that, though.
Thanks again!
Where Are You Going??
I've always hated the idea of running "for fun." Not "disliked" or "minded" it; straight-out haaated it. I was the kid in middle school who came in last when we had to run a mile during those annoying physical fitness tests. I was the girl who had to stop every 2 minutes to walk for 5. I loved playing volleyball, basketball and throwing discus in track and field. Ask me to give you 20 laps, however, and I was not a happy camper. After all, what's the point? Where are you going when you're headed in circles around a high school track or middle school gym? Nowhere! You're just... moving.
Well, considering I am now older and wiser and need new challenges, I've decided to give this running thing a try. Yes, really. It started last week when a friend of mine suggested doing a 5K. At first, I thought, "Oh, hell no." But then, I started hearing from others I know who run them all the time. It's not terribly difficult, they say. You just have to train properly. And once you start, they say, you want to do even more! You're addicted to the idea of getting stronger and faster and beating your time. Shave a couple of minutes off the next race, and you're on a roll.
Hmmm.... Ok. I get that.
I don't know about the wanting to do more part, but I've decided I need a new physical goal, and if I can conquer running, who knows what else is on the horizon? So I'm signing up to run a 5K at the end of April. That gives me plenty of time to train and maybe start to like this whole thing... I hope...
Any suggestions on how I should train? 'Cause you know I need the help!
Well, considering I am now older and wiser and need new challenges, I've decided to give this running thing a try. Yes, really. It started last week when a friend of mine suggested doing a 5K. At first, I thought, "Oh, hell no." But then, I started hearing from others I know who run them all the time. It's not terribly difficult, they say. You just have to train properly. And once you start, they say, you want to do even more! You're addicted to the idea of getting stronger and faster and beating your time. Shave a couple of minutes off the next race, and you're on a roll.
Hmmm.... Ok. I get that.
I don't know about the wanting to do more part, but I've decided I need a new physical goal, and if I can conquer running, who knows what else is on the horizon? So I'm signing up to run a 5K at the end of April. That gives me plenty of time to train and maybe start to like this whole thing... I hope...
Any suggestions on how I should train? 'Cause you know I need the help!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
The "D" Word
Just before winter break (around Dec. 15), I decided it was high time I re-weighed myself. I was hesitant for weeks, but at some point, I figured if I truly wanted a fresh start, I had to come to terms with my current weight. With Jenny Craig, I'd lost 32 pounds in 6 months. I was positive I'd gained at least some of that back between September and December because of my awful eating habits and lack of exercise. So I faced my fear of getting on the scale and did just that.
Eight pounds. That's how much I'd put back on in four months.
Seeing that number brought out a few emotions in me; relief that it wasn't bigger, anxiety because I wanted to get moving NOW, disappointment because I felt I'd seriously hindered my progress by being irresponsible for months. In the end, though, I let it go and told myself that the mistakes I made were in the past. All I could do now was move ahead by taking things one day at a time.
Since January 1, I have been incredibly dedicated to sticking with a new eating plan, one similar to Jenny Craig. I've been watching what I eat and taking it easy on the sweets, but I still indulge every now and then. I actually eat a piece of chocolate every day in the afternoons. I've also been going to the gym or using my medicine ball DVD workout regularly, which has made me feel so much better.
I wanted to see how far I'd come since then, so I got on the scale again this morning to check. I figured if I'd had a loss, it would motivate me more. If I didn't, that might make me want to work harder, too.
Three pounds. That's how much I'd lost since mid-December, amid all the holiday treats and my trip home with no exercise. That's pretty damn good!
I'm hoping those results will keep me on track with my diet. Actually, I shouldn't use the "d" word. I react the same way most people do when I hear it. "Ugh, no way! That's too hard -- I hate it!" Really, what I'm going through is a lifestyle change. I'm not trying to drop 5 pounds to fit into a dress for a party. I'm trying to re-train my brain and my stomach to want less food. I'm trying to get healthy and stay that way. I am so excited to be on the right track again, and I have no doubt I'll be successful this time.
Eight pounds. That's how much I'd put back on in four months.
Seeing that number brought out a few emotions in me; relief that it wasn't bigger, anxiety because I wanted to get moving NOW, disappointment because I felt I'd seriously hindered my progress by being irresponsible for months. In the end, though, I let it go and told myself that the mistakes I made were in the past. All I could do now was move ahead by taking things one day at a time.
Since January 1, I have been incredibly dedicated to sticking with a new eating plan, one similar to Jenny Craig. I've been watching what I eat and taking it easy on the sweets, but I still indulge every now and then. I actually eat a piece of chocolate every day in the afternoons. I've also been going to the gym or using my medicine ball DVD workout regularly, which has made me feel so much better.
I wanted to see how far I'd come since then, so I got on the scale again this morning to check. I figured if I'd had a loss, it would motivate me more. If I didn't, that might make me want to work harder, too.
Three pounds. That's how much I'd lost since mid-December, amid all the holiday treats and my trip home with no exercise. That's pretty damn good!
I'm hoping those results will keep me on track with my diet. Actually, I shouldn't use the "d" word. I react the same way most people do when I hear it. "Ugh, no way! That's too hard -- I hate it!" Really, what I'm going through is a lifestyle change. I'm not trying to drop 5 pounds to fit into a dress for a party. I'm trying to re-train my brain and my stomach to want less food. I'm trying to get healthy and stay that way. I am so excited to be on the right track again, and I have no doubt I'll be successful this time.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Others' Struggles
I'm fascinated with reality shows about overweight people. I know that sounds totally insensitive, but I don't mean it in a negative way. I don't see them as freaks or as part of some circus for the world to see. On the contrary, I'm intrigued by their struggles and the steps they take to try to overcome their situations. Take "Ruby," for example. It's a show on Style network about a severely obese woman in Georgia working to battle her food addiction. Cameras follow her around Savannah while she fights her demons. I love her story because it's full of heart and vulnerability. Ruby knows that if she doesn't shed the weight, she'll probably die. It's morbid, but it's true.
Ok, so I'm not obese or even close to being in Ruby's shoes. I just need to lose about 20 more pounds to be within my "healthy" range. Still, I find inspiration in her story. If she can re-work the only lifestyle she's ever known to become a completley different person, can't anyone? Maybe... but maybe not.
TLC's "Big Medicine" profiles multiple overweight people with a variety of issues. Most of them are addicted to food, just like an alcoholic is addicted to drinking. The difference is that we HAVE to eat food to live... How successful could an alcoholic be if he or she needed to have one shot a day... just one... to keep going? I can't even imagine how difficult that would be.
Some doctors insist that the urge to overeat is genetic (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article5342552.ece). While most people can eat a meal and be full for hours, others search for more food shortly after filling themselves up. They might not even be hungry, but they want to eat because of how their brain is wired. Sometimes I wonder if this affects me somehow. Again, I'm not obese, but I love food, and I could eat all day if I wanted to. I get full pretty easily now, and I have major heartburn after stuffing myself. Still, I wonder if my genetic makeup plays a role in my eating habits. My mom eats like a bird. My dad likes food, too, but he's not obese; he just likes to graze.
Either way, the stories I hear on "Ruby" and "Big Medicine" are motivating me not to want to overeat anymore. You should check those shows out if you have a chance.
Ok, so I'm not obese or even close to being in Ruby's shoes. I just need to lose about 20 more pounds to be within my "healthy" range. Still, I find inspiration in her story. If she can re-work the only lifestyle she's ever known to become a completley different person, can't anyone? Maybe... but maybe not.
TLC's "Big Medicine" profiles multiple overweight people with a variety of issues. Most of them are addicted to food, just like an alcoholic is addicted to drinking. The difference is that we HAVE to eat food to live... How successful could an alcoholic be if he or she needed to have one shot a day... just one... to keep going? I can't even imagine how difficult that would be.
Some doctors insist that the urge to overeat is genetic (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article5342552.ece). While most people can eat a meal and be full for hours, others search for more food shortly after filling themselves up. They might not even be hungry, but they want to eat because of how their brain is wired. Sometimes I wonder if this affects me somehow. Again, I'm not obese, but I love food, and I could eat all day if I wanted to. I get full pretty easily now, and I have major heartburn after stuffing myself. Still, I wonder if my genetic makeup plays a role in my eating habits. My mom eats like a bird. My dad likes food, too, but he's not obese; he just likes to graze.
Either way, the stories I hear on "Ruby" and "Big Medicine" are motivating me not to want to overeat anymore. You should check those shows out if you have a chance.
Friday, January 2, 2009
A New Beginning
Every January 1 for as long as I can remember, I've resolved to eat healthier and lose weight. I never stuck with that resolution, until last year.
You might recall that I joined Jenny Craig at the end of March. I stuck with it dilligently until mid-August, when I got a new job and my entire lifestyle changed. I used to be a news producer, and the nature of the business is so hectic that bringing pre-packaged meals and snacks to work was a necessity. I barely had time to eat during the day, so I never really thought about food. That made losing the weight with Jenny so simple -- I just brought my lunch and snacks for the day and grabbed them when I had a second. Otherwise, I didn't eat all day, and I pigged out at dinner as a result. Things are different where I work now. I have more downtime to think about what I'm doing, and every office in my building has some kind of candy or snacks laying around. Food is a part of the culture there, and temptation is all over the place. Not to mention that everyone eats at the buffet-style dining hall, which is actually very, very good. (Fortunately, it has a full-scale salad bar, but it also has other goodies, like grilled cheese and plenty of desserts.)
My goal was to lose 50 lbs on Jenny, but I left the program in mid-October before I could reach it. The bottom line is that it was just too expensive for me. However, I have absolutely no regrets about joining. I made an investment in myself, one that I absolutely needed to make, and I would have done it all over again if I had to. The people at Jenny Craig were wonderful and very supportive. I still firmly recommend the program to anyone who is serious about losing weight but hasn't been successful on their own. I just couldn't keep it up on my salary.
So, what's happened since then?
I wish I could pretend that September - December didn't exist. I quit my membership at the local YMCA to use my university's gym for free -- but I only worked out there once. I was also back to my old destructive habits, eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Around Thanksgiving, I started to feel really gross again, like I had nothing but fat all over my body. I realized I needed to get back on the wagon. Jenny Craig had given me the tools to live a healthy lifestyle, but it was up to me to utilize them. So, in mid-December, I joined a new gym closer to my house that was singificantly less expensive. I started going almost every day before leaving for Christmas. Even the manager noticed! However, when I went home for the holidays, I ate everything in sight (again), and the only exercising I did was dancing at my cousin's engagement party.
So now I'm back home, reevaluating my life and my goals. I know I can lose the weight before my sister's wedding this summer. Her fiance gave me some great workout equipment to supplement my gym time, and I'm excited about using it. I just don't want to feel disgusting anymore. I don't care if I look like a model or if my thighs are bigger than the average girl's. I want to be healthy and feel proud when I look in the mirror -- that's all.
I can't change the mistakes I made over the past few months, but I can make sure I don't repeat them. So here I go, off to the gym to give myself another chance at happiness.
You might recall that I joined Jenny Craig at the end of March. I stuck with it dilligently until mid-August, when I got a new job and my entire lifestyle changed. I used to be a news producer, and the nature of the business is so hectic that bringing pre-packaged meals and snacks to work was a necessity. I barely had time to eat during the day, so I never really thought about food. That made losing the weight with Jenny so simple -- I just brought my lunch and snacks for the day and grabbed them when I had a second. Otherwise, I didn't eat all day, and I pigged out at dinner as a result. Things are different where I work now. I have more downtime to think about what I'm doing, and every office in my building has some kind of candy or snacks laying around. Food is a part of the culture there, and temptation is all over the place. Not to mention that everyone eats at the buffet-style dining hall, which is actually very, very good. (Fortunately, it has a full-scale salad bar, but it also has other goodies, like grilled cheese and plenty of desserts.)
My goal was to lose 50 lbs on Jenny, but I left the program in mid-October before I could reach it. The bottom line is that it was just too expensive for me. However, I have absolutely no regrets about joining. I made an investment in myself, one that I absolutely needed to make, and I would have done it all over again if I had to. The people at Jenny Craig were wonderful and very supportive. I still firmly recommend the program to anyone who is serious about losing weight but hasn't been successful on their own. I just couldn't keep it up on my salary.
So, what's happened since then?
I wish I could pretend that September - December didn't exist. I quit my membership at the local YMCA to use my university's gym for free -- but I only worked out there once. I was also back to my old destructive habits, eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Around Thanksgiving, I started to feel really gross again, like I had nothing but fat all over my body. I realized I needed to get back on the wagon. Jenny Craig had given me the tools to live a healthy lifestyle, but it was up to me to utilize them. So, in mid-December, I joined a new gym closer to my house that was singificantly less expensive. I started going almost every day before leaving for Christmas. Even the manager noticed! However, when I went home for the holidays, I ate everything in sight (again), and the only exercising I did was dancing at my cousin's engagement party.
So now I'm back home, reevaluating my life and my goals. I know I can lose the weight before my sister's wedding this summer. Her fiance gave me some great workout equipment to supplement my gym time, and I'm excited about using it. I just don't want to feel disgusting anymore. I don't care if I look like a model or if my thighs are bigger than the average girl's. I want to be healthy and feel proud when I look in the mirror -- that's all.
I can't change the mistakes I made over the past few months, but I can make sure I don't repeat them. So here I go, off to the gym to give myself another chance at happiness.
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