The "D" Word

Just before winter break (around Dec. 15), I decided it was high time I re-weighed myself. I was hesitant for weeks, but at some point, I figured if I truly wanted a fresh start, I had to come to terms with my current weight. With Jenny Craig, I'd lost 32 pounds in 6 months. I was positive I'd gained at least some of that back between September and December because of my awful eating habits and lack of exercise. So I faced my fear of getting on the scale and did just that.

Eight pounds. That's how much I'd put back on in four months.

Seeing that number brought out a few emotions in me; relief that it wasn't bigger, anxiety because I wanted to get moving NOW, disappointment because I felt I'd seriously hindered my progress by being irresponsible for months. In the end, though, I let it go and told myself that the mistakes I made were in the past. All I could do now was move ahead by taking things one day at a time.

Since January 1, I have been incredibly dedicated to sticking with a new eating plan, one similar to Jenny Craig. I've been watching what I eat and taking it easy on the sweets, but I still indulge every now and then. I actually eat a piece of chocolate every day in the afternoons. I've also been going to the gym or using my medicine ball DVD workout regularly, which has made me feel so much better.

I wanted to see how far I'd come since then, so I got on the scale again this morning to check. I figured if I'd had a loss, it would motivate me more. If I didn't, that might make me want to work harder, too.

Three pounds. That's how much I'd lost since mid-December, amid all the holiday treats and my trip home with no exercise. That's pretty damn good!

I'm hoping those results will keep me on track with my diet. Actually, I shouldn't use the "d" word. I react the same way most people do when I hear it. "Ugh, no way! That's too hard -- I hate it!" Really, what I'm going through is a lifestyle change. I'm not trying to drop 5 pounds to fit into a dress for a party. I'm trying to re-train my brain and my stomach to want less food. I'm trying to get healthy and stay that way. I am so excited to be on the right track again, and I have no doubt I'll be successful this time.