Reflection

So I've had a pretty good week... no, scratch that -- I've had a great week. I'm getting back into the mode of wanting to reach my goal. I dropped two more pounds in the last seven days, bringing my total to 32 since March 29th. Not bad!

I had a major moment of reflection last night. My consultant told me that she and her co-workers are always recommending their clients for Jenny Craig ads. She asked me if I had any dramatic "before" photos showing how much I weighed before joining. "Yeah," I replied with a tone of disgust. "Believe me, I have plenty of those!" Later, I sent Tanya (my consultant) two pictures: one from about a year ago, and another from my sister's engagement party in August. Tanya could not believe what she saw.

"Oh my goodness!" she wrote. "You are a goddess of beauty! I would have never known the two photos were of the same person! You are very pretty in the first photo, don’t get me wrong. But the second photo is amazing! Also, your smiles are very different. You look so radiant, confident, and happy in the second photo!"

Her comments were flattering, but they also hit a very emotional spot for me. I still can't believe that I let myself get as heavy as I did. I can't believe men found me attractive and that I was confident enough to think I looked great. I can't believe I didn't get on an exercise and diet plan before. I can't believe it took me this long to finally wake up and see that I had to do something for the sake of my health. But I guess we all learn our own personal lessons in due time. Maybe I wasn't meant to take control until now. Who knows? I am just thankful I finally did. I shouldn't look back and think about what could have been. I should only look forward to the future.