Validation!

So, for awhile, I was feeling pretty down about myself. As I mentioned before, I've only lost a couple of pounds this month, which bummed me out because, at one point, I was dropping 3 pounds a week. I felt I'd lost momentum, like I was going down the open country road at 60 mph, then got caught behind a semi-truck going 35, with the double line preventing me from passing... And what's worse is that I haven't felt like I have the supportive consultant I once did, someone who keeps my spirits up and inspires me not to stop now. My previous consultant's office closed down, so they assigned me a new one. Not only does she seem to not give a crap about my issues, but she never calls when she's supposed to! I'm about to get in touch with Jenny Craig and tell them I need someone better. But I digress...

Just as I was at my lowest point in a long time, I took my frugal self to the mall to take advantage of some big discounts at my favorite store, New York & Company. This is where the validation part comes in. As I was trying on the plethora of clothes that were up to 70% off, I realized some of them were just way too big... I needed a size smaller! What? That can't be right... So I got the smaller sizes, tried them on, and, voila! I had actually dropped another size. Who woulda thought? I was fitting into clothes that I would never have been able to wear before... Wow. Naturally, I spent a pretty penny on those smaller clothes because I was so relieved that I still *was* making progress.

I learned a good lesson in all of this. The scale really doesn't tell the whole story. Maybe my body is at a point where it's trying to readjust. I have lost about 8 inches off my waist since starting this diet. I guess I just need to be more patient and let whatever happens happens. All I can do is try to make the best decisions for myself and let science take over from there.

Finding Inspiration

I've had a rough couple of weeks in life. My schedule has been all over the place, I have a 25 page paper due on Tuesday, and I just quit my job to take a new one (yay!). Whether good or bad, all of this fluxuation has undoubtedly affected my diet. I've done my best to stick with Jenny throughout, but that hasn't always happened. For some reason, I've lost my inspiration, and I've veered off the menu on more than one occassion. I haven't gone the fast-food route, but I've certainly consumed a lot more sugar than I'm supposed to have. I also haven't had as much time to exercise as I would like. I've tried to make up for it by doing little things: walking the dogs, trying out the Yoga Booty Ballet DVDs Michelle let me borrow (thanks again!!), et cetera. But the results are not nearly as great as they were in the beginning of this program.

Have I really lost that much steam?

The good news in all of this is that I haven't gained any weight. But looking back at my log this morning, I realized I only lost 3 lbs this entire month! I was losing up to 10 every four weeks. Is my body trying to tell me something? I'm not sure.

I'm certainly not giving up, but I've reassessed my goals and decided that my target is now 155, not 150 as I'd previously written. That means I have 17 more lbs to go. I think I can do that in the next two months. I just have to find my inspiration again!

Slowing down

I was on a roll on this diet thing up until about 3 weeks ago. Bottom line: I don't feel nearly as motivated now as I did as recently as last month. I'm working hard not to blow it, having lost 27 lbs. already. Lately, however, I've been going out more than I used to and treating myself to things I wouldn't have ordered when I first started the program. Having said that, this is also the time I need to teach myself to eat right off of Jenny Craig. I only got 2 weeks worth of food in my last order to use over the course of a month, so that's a start.

I honestly think stress is playing a role in my changed attitude. I'm in the mist of trying to get things in order in my professional life, and I think all the anticpation and wondering and worrying has taken its toll on me. Today, for example, I was up at 3am to be into work by 4, but I only had three hours of sleep, and I ended up eating one extra meal because I was up for such a long time... Also, I've been exercising more, which increases my appetite, so I find that I'm more hungry these days.

I'm a little scared to step on the scale tomorrow. I don't think I've gained anything back, but I'll be surprised if I lost more than a pound this week. I really have to keep going and stop making excuses. As I've said, I'm more than halfway to my goal, and I just can't stop now. Hopefully, I'm only going through a short rough patch that will clear up soon.

Oops...

Ok, so that whole thing about being more strict -- pretend I never said it! There were so many sweet treats last week for Alva's last days at work that I just couldn't resist... cakes, cupcakes, dinners out, you name it. I think I did pretty well considering how much I COULD have pigged out... but I know I consumed way more sugar than I should have!

Having said that, I think I'm at the point where I need to start weening myself off of the Jenny Craig meals. I remember after I first signed up that my consultant said when I was halfway to my goal, I'd have to start incorporating "real" food more... so I think now's the time to get that ball rolling. Hopefully, I can continue my success and reach the 50 lb. mark by my 25th birthday this fall... I only have about 23 more to go, which I think is very doable.

Switching Gears

So these past few days have been pretty chaotic for me. Jorge has been out of town, leaving me to take care of the dogs... I've been trying to make a dent in the 25-page paper I have due in 2 weeks.... and work is, well, work: insane as usual. But something that has really gotten me this week is that Jenny changed my consultant on me, the person who calls me every Tuesday night to help track my progress and encourage me not to give up. Donna was nothing short of amazing. She was so encouraging and genuinely happy for me when things went well. And when they were not so good, she still kept my spirits up. Donna was on the program, too, so she understood the trials & tribulations of sticking with it. I felt like she really got me and helped me figure out what my problems were and what I could do to resolve them. Well, they closed down Donna's call center somewhere in Texas, and now I have a girl who just graduated college and probably weighs about 120 pounds. Don't get me wrong -I'm not the judgmental type. However, I could tell from that first phone call that Melissa (I think that's her name) is just trying to bring home a paycheck every couple of weeks. She was totally clueless on my background, the progress I'd made so far, my weaknesses, my goals, etc. I had to fill her in on everything, and I felt like I was the one running the conversation, when it should be the other way around. I'm debating calling Jenny and asking for someone with a little more experience, but I'm going to give it a couple of weeks before I decide for sure. Maybe this girl just needs time to build her personality before she can really help me.

I'm also feeling pretty depressed over my best QC friend leaving me. I work in news, which is a fluid business. People move in and out all the time as they climb the career ladder. But I've never made a friend here like Alva, my partner in crime. We are so much alike and so comfortable around each other that it's like we've been friends all our lives. She's moving on to another career in another town, and I'm really sad about that, even though I am ecstatic about her new opportunity. As you can imagine, there have been a lot of goodbye treats for her these last couple of days, so I really have to control myself and not eat all the cake I see around me. I did have a sliver yesterday, so today, I will abstain.

One last thing I want to touch on in this blog is the scale (dun dun duuunn!!!). I've had pretty good luck on this program, and as of today, I've lost 27 pounds since starting on March 29th. The past couple of weeks, however, I've only been dropping one pound instead of the usual two or three. So I really have to step it up and be more strict with myself. I've had a couple slips here and there, nothing major that I regret. But I can see how the calories are adding up, and I need to take more control over that. I'm more than halfway to my goal, and I can't wait until I get there!